Monday, June 24, 2013

Love You

Tonight while carrying our daughter up to bed, she was telling her Daddy night night in her sing song 16 month old little voice. She blew him kisses and when he told her he loved her, she said 'Love You' back to him. It stopped my heart. Her tiny voice. Her sweet words. To a man who never had adoption heavy on his heart like it was on mine, and yet, here he is with a daughter he loves beyond words.

It makes you think of life. How we love people we have never met. Or movie stars. Pets, things, houses, family, and our children. Oh, how we love our children. Most of the time anyway. ;) This week our second son turned 11 years old. As with every birthday, I relive the day of their birth and look at these amazing young men they are becoming. This morning, as Cullen read Elliana a book about the Three Trees, I silently cried.

It is a book about, well, three trees. How each of them has a dream of what they will become in life. Yet, their dreams are not what God has in store for them. One becomes a manger. One becomes a boat that our Lord stands in and calms the sea, and the third becomes a rugged cross. I looked at this child of mine who was not what I expected, and yet so much more.

I told him, if he had been a girl, there would be no Liam. There would be no Elliana. We would have stopped. We would have had our pigeon pair and life would have gone on. If there were no Cullen, Kadin would not have the wings to soar. How he always included his big brother. He always looked out for him. He always dared him to be more than he was. He gave Kadin those wings. That if there had not been him in our lives, I would not have learned so much about brothers. How they bond, how they grow, and how they are the most amazing creatures on Earth. I would not have learned about the little things in life that he always taught us to stop and see. I would have not learned to dance in the rain, run with my heart in my throat after a child in the parking lot, or experience natural child birth. I would not have had the experience of mastitis, or the joy of seeing a little boy smile again. I would have missed out on guitar music and jokes. How he is so much more than I expected, and yet everything I ever needed. I thanked him for choosing our family.

I've learned a lot in the last 11 years. :) For that, I'm thankful. For a young son teetering on the verge of teenager hood, and a husband who took a leap of faith. For because of each of them, and three other small beings, I have a house full of 'Love You's' and I couldn't ask for more.