Saturday, May 12, 2012

As Mother's Day quickly approaches, I would be remiss to not mention a young woman who will always hold a special place in our hearts. Elliana's birthmom. A courageous and fearless 19 year old who gave birth by c-section to her first child and then waited 18 long hours for us to arrive at the hospital to meet her. A tearful young woman who was scared to meet us, but yet she did and we fell in love with her heart and soul. A fiesty young woman who's personality I see reflected in our young daughter every day. A young woman who won't say no, who won't let life beat her down, and who made one of the most heart wrenching decisions of her short life on Feb 24, 2012 when she signed her rights away and made Elliana our daughter.

We sent a card to her, after searching and searching. There are no cards at Halmark that express your graditude. There are no cards that say exactly what it means to hold this child that grew in your heart long before she was held in your arms. There are no cards to tell a young woman who gave us one of the four greatest gifts of our lives to us just how much she means to us.

So, I found the best I could and included some pictures of this special girl in hopes that her birthmom will know how dear both of them are to us.

If you know a birthmom, let her know how much you love her. Wish her a Happy Mother's Day from all of her children. For just because she may not hold that child in her arms, she does in her heart, and her body carries the scars of that child's birth. Forever.

Every month when I take Elliana to get her "month-day" pictures taken, she wears this bracelet. It says Forever in My Heart and it has a tag with her birthmom's name on it. Her birthmom has a necklace that matches with Elliana's name on it. I cannot act like this other woman does not exist. For without her, my family would be incomplete. Without her, my sons wouldn't have a sister. My husband wouldn't have his Daddy's little girl. And I wouldn't have my Dream Come True.

Happy Mother's Day, Destiny. As I told you not so long ago, you were our destiny and we love you!

Friday, May 11, 2012

Mother's Day

So many mixed emotions as I approach Mother's Day this year. For almost 13 years I have been an all boy mom. I have greeted Mother's Day with total joy at my children, and sometimes hatred at the Mother/Daughter events that seem to evolve this time of year. So many times I would be invited to a Mother/Daughter tea and feel that gut wrenching stab in the gut. Or a Mother/Daughter banquet at church. It was my mission to educate that not everything in life was to surround mothers and daughters. What of our sons?

I am thankful to myself that I never shied away from speaking up. A women's banquet should not be titled Mother/Daughter banquet. Mother's Day pictures should not depict ONLY mothers and daughters. Moms are moms to BOYS too. Especially me. I am a fierce boy mom. Don't try me.

So why is it that people think this year will be any different? That this year will be a Mother's Day beyond all Mother's Days because I now have a daughter? Instinctively, I get defensive. I know it. I never want my boys to think they have been displaced by thier sister. Is it because people think I finally hit the jackpot? Or is it simply that people know the journey we have traveled to add this little being to our family. Boy OR Girl. I don't know. No one ever said that to me after adding a second or third son, so I am to believe that it's because I now have a girl child.

Will this be the best mother's day ever? Maybe. Or Maybe last years was (although I can't remember what we did). Or maybe next years will be (because I'll be sleeping through the night, hopefully!). I don't know. I just know that for 12 years I have been extremely lucky to have a little person (or two, or three, or four!) in my home that calls me Momma. So for the past 12 years, I have had the best Mother's Days ever because I get to gather my little men close and revel in the fact that God entrusted me with these three perfect beings. This year I get to add little miss to that hug.

Am I grateful? Absolutely. Is our family complete. Yes. Do I cringe at Mother/Daughter connotations anymore?  Not so much. Am I looking forward to years with my children? Yes. And the reason that this Mother's Day will be the best one yet? Because my family has grown by 2 more feet. There is more love in our home. And my arm reach around my children expanded. I am truly blessed.

In my life, I know there are five things I have done right. I married my husband and we have four amazing children to share our lives with. Yep, that makes Mother's Day complete.

May you all have The Best Mother's Day Ever!