Two weeks.

Today I am two weeks post mastectomy and reconstruction. It has also been four weeks since I received my cancer diagnosis. Just to show you how time can change in the blink of an eye. Now that I am finally up and around I realize how crazy I have let my life get. I still am unable to lift things over 10-20 lbs which leaves Elliana on the floor. I also tire easily which I think is more due to the fact that I spent a week and a half flat on my back in bed. Slowly, I will gain that strength back and soon I hope to be bustling about doing my daily frantic life.

One of the important things I learned through all of this is my breast is just a mountain of flesh. Breasts do not make or break a person. I see people glancing and my face and quickly glancing down at my chest. will it be flat? Is there a fake one in there? Or does she look the same? Is her reconstructed breast bigger? I get many comments about how one should go bigger if they are being reconstructed. Honestly, I wanted the cancer gone. I could have cared less on the bottom line on if I had a breast or not. But because I had a choice, I chose to reconstruct. And because they could spare my skin, my breast is not much different in size than it was previously because I only had so much skin. And because my implant is a tear drop shaped one, it closely resembles the shape of my birth given breast as well. So, on the outside, I do not look much different than I did before. Same nipple, same skin, different insides. I'm not a very shy one so I suspect my close friends will eventually get a gander at it. ;) It's amazing what plastic surgeons can do!

Another thing I learned through this journey is that cancer took my breast. I, on the other hand, am pretty much the same person. My sense of humor is the same, my birthday is the same, the type of clothes I wear are the same, my personality is pretty much the same. Cancer did not take me. Cancer does not control me. I am still the same person and if I met someone on the street for the first time, they would not know I had cancer unless I chose to share it. Which I will. Often. Because I believe sharing our hardships help others know they are not alone. But I did not become some fragile being that I wasn't before. I am still me. I'm thankful for that!

I also am reminded of the kindness of people. Every day for two weeks food has come into my home. Food by people I know and love dearly, and by people who know me only fleetingly. Food that nourished my body as I healed, offered comfort to my family, supported my parents in caring for me, and allowed my mother to stay healthy enough to help me in the weeks to come. Never underestimate bringing a meal, whether it is breakfast, lunch, or dinner to help someone. Or giving a gift card. Cookies or cupcakes were cheered as well. A friend of Kadin's Grandmother showed up with two loaves of fresh made bread. A neighbor stopped by with a homemade apple pie. Those outward shows of comfort are priceless. I can never thank everyone enough. I received flowers from friends near and far. They were physical reminders that I was being prayed for and thought of often. I wanted them all around me so I could think of each person individually as well. Footed pajamas brought smiles and encouraged my littlest man to put his on as well so we could match. The cards were touching. The bracelets reminders of friendship and those that were fighting with me. I will be more giving when I know my friends are hurting. I will make sure they know that their illness or sorrow is mine as well. Cancer did do that. I will make sure I give back tenfold.

I hear other cancer stories. Over 200,000 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year. This year alone! I know that I am lucky. I know that many prayers were answered with my health status. I know that God heard them all and I am very thankful. I have shifted to accommodate cancer in my life. I know it does not define me. I will cope with each day, pacing myself as I heal, and learning to take the time my body needs so that I can go back to the whirlwind of my life. I will survive to build my new normal, to reach out to others, to live in gratitude, moving forward in time, and surrounded by those who love me. I had breast cancer. I am healing from a mastectomy and reconstruction. But I am strong. I believe in a Big God! And I will survive to guide others, as I have been guided.

For now, I am just thankful. Thankful my cancer was caught early. Thankful I live in the United States where our health care coverage allowed me the tests I needed. Thankful I live in a country where doctors who can help me also reside and train. Thankful that my parents were able to come and step in taking over my duties with my children so I could heal. Thankful my husband was beside me every step of the way. Thankful we live in a community that cares for its members. Thankful we live in a part of the world where we can praise our Heavenly Father and that I am surrounded by so many that took my name to His ears. I am thankful the cancer is gone from my body at this time. I am thankful I am healing without complications. I am thankful I was healthy and strong before surgery and that I will be again. I am thankful for each of you, and mostly, I am thankful for my precious Savior. Who went through every hardship and pain imaginable to us and promises to always be there to carry us through the fires. We are never alone in life, and that brings me such comfort.